The Integration of Oneself - Shadow Work

When we talk about Shadow Work, one must first understand – what is “The Shadow”?

The Shadow is any aspect of oneself, in the human psyche that we are unconscious of, whether it be wounding, emotions, desires, needs, internal beliefs, gifts, talents or potential.

The reason we are unconscious, or unaware of these Shadow aspects of ourselves is because at some stage in our life, we were led to believe they we undesirable traits… so we repress, reject, deny and disassociate ourselves from them. But they continue to live within us, in our subconscious minds and body, waiting to be re-discovered.

We do actually express our Shadows in ways we are unconscious of, usually through projecting onto those closest to us, or through unhealthy outlets.

Shadow Work is the work of re-discovering, acknowledging, accepting and integrating these aspects back into our lives, in a healthy manner.

Bringing the unconscious to the conscious.

Bringing light on to the dark.

The beauty of this work (“The Work”) is that when we start integrating these aspects of ourselves that had previously been denied, we create space for our full expression and creative potential to step forward so we can partake in the dance of life with full presence and awareness - our true, unapologetic, divine, whole self.

To first dive into this work, we can start investigating our triggers and learn how our triggers are actually reflecting back to us, the parts of ourselves that we’ve repressed or denied over our lifetime. These could be “undesirable” traits or behaviours, but they may also be our light and potential.

I’ll give you a real life example…

“Seeing the way my partner lived a creative lifestyle was inspiring to me but it also brought up feelings of jealousy and envy. When I started investing why this triggered me, I realised that I had abandoned my desire for creative pursuits over the years. My family and friendship circle didn’t value or encourage creativity, so these interests of mine got left behind, forgotten (becoming a shadow aspect).

I then decided to entertain the idea that I too, had much creativity within myself to discover. So bit by bit, I started creating again, just for fun and then into my working life. I now feel so rewarded that I too can live this creative lifestyle and by re-initiating this creative process I have realised that I have so many other talents still waiting to be discovered.”

This is an example of discovering our light, our “Golden Shadows”, which is 90% of our Shadows.

But it ain’t all roses…

The challenging and, quite frankly, self-dismantling part of this work is that when we become aware of our “undesirable” Shadows, we are quite often shocked, shameful and feel guilt for how these aspects are and have been playing out in our lives, without our awareness. This takes great courage and the willingness to let go of the ego and allow these old parts of ourselves to die, if they are truly not serving our highest potential. With this often comes a grieving process.

Let me give you another real life example:

“My partner had a very unhealthy way of expressing anger. Any form of anger, especially the explosive type, would absolutely repel me. It wasn’t until I started Shadow work and started to look within, that I understood the reason I was so triggered by his anger, was because I had a lot of unexpressed anger bottled up within myself. Over the years I was led to believe that any signs of anger were “ugly” or “not positive”, but in fact, my anger was expressed explosively at times, often without my control. This inner anger was actually making me very sad without being able to pinpoint why.

I have now learnt that there are healthy ways to express anger, and that anger repressed has many adverse effects on one’s mental and physical health”.

When embarking in Shadow Work, I strongly recommend having a Mentor as this can be seriously heavy work when we become really honest with ourselves, and I feel one needs a lot of support and guidance through this period. In my opinion and experience, Shadow work is an integral part of the journey of self liberation and awakening and is a fundamental part of my 1:1 Mentoring Program.

It is also a theme covered in my Group Mentoring Course “The Path Beyond”, if a group container is more in line with the path you are on.

Much love and self-awareness,

Bel x

The jewel beneath the wound is there, waiting patiently,

Waiting for you to peel back the layers and reveal its existence,

The part of you that's desperately wanting to be felt and embodied,

Poking it's ugly head out in different ways but you keep pushing it down,

Try to ignore, keeping that uncomfortable feeling or desire beneath the surface,

But like a balloon trying to be pushed underwater,

The Shadow too, will keep rising up, in the forms of triggers, projections, anger, depression, anxiety, sadness and dreams, just to name a few.

Do not fear this path,

These are the signals that beyond the trigger, pain and discomfort, there is also a jewel waiting to be accepted, owned and embodied, no longer as a shadow aspect, but an integration of your unique and complete, complex self.

To live in our full expression, we must also own our darkness.

Bel DoboszMarch 24, 2021